I once called myself an unconventional leader, as my career path seemed different to other leaders I had met.
Also, I believed there was something quirky about my eventual arrival as head of a progressive, successful not-for-profit organisation.
At least, that was the story I told myself. But on many levels, I have believed I am not good enough – not just in work, but in other aspects of life. I have spent a large part of my adult life focusing on what I didn’t have rather than on my strengths and experience.
It is no coincidence my path led me to Fitted for Work. Like every woman of a certain age, I have a story – a tale with twists and turns. And like so many women, life events reinforced my lack of confidence.
Powerful factor
Confidence is a simple yet powerful factor that comes up time and time again in research around why women are not progressing up through the ranks of the Australian workforce. For me, lack of confidence affected how I performed professionally, how I parented and how I behaved socially. I lived with a nagging feeling that I just wasn’t good enough. Nearly. But not quite.
When you are a leader, people look to you to learn how to behave. If you are unsure of yourself, how can you expect your team to follow?
Things began to change when I started working for people who questioned this limiting and unjustified belief. Every time I threw up an excuse as to why I couldn’t be promoted, or was not a good parent, they asked me why. They forced me to self-reflect until I started to see what they saw.
What I perceived as weaknesses they reframed as strengths. These strengths were evident in how I had overcome adversity, the fact that I showed up every day and was truly present, and the contributions I made not only to the bottom line but to the culture of the organisation.
These people were not interested in exploring why I had low self-esteem and poor self-confidence. They were unrelenting in their questioning until eventually the belief “I’m not good enough” stopped resonating. In fact, it started to sound downright ridiculous. Their validation and, more importantly, my growing self-belief, changed me and the course of my life.
Never afraid
These inspiring leaders had their own obstacles to overcome. They were on their own journeys, and were fearless in their authenticity. They were never afraid to show their vulnerability despite their senior roles and responsibilities.
They did this with grace and humanity, and no-one was hurt in the process. They showed me I could be enough just as I am, flaws and all. They opened up possibilities. They showed me that resilience is not necessarily innate, but rather a skill to be learned.
They also sponsored me in finding the support networks I needed. They explained that I didn’t need to have all the answers – I could find them in those support networks.
In a nutshell, what they did was so powerful and yet so simple: they held a mirror up to me and encouraged me to look into it. The message – see who you are; believe and trust.
Common theme
As CEO at Fitted for Work, I see that old limiting self-belief every day in the women we work with. The women who come to us all have a story. These stories cover the spectrum of human experience – physical and mental illness, abuse, disability, time spent in a correctional institution, arriving in Australia as a refugee, losing a partner, divorce … the list goes on.
Regardless of where they have come from and what they have experienced, we see the common theme of a limiting self-belief and lack of confidence. Without these two critical elements, it is hard to see a way out, to understand that you have choice.
An important step to self-efficacy for a woman is financial independence. We know that employment is the best pathway to financial independence and the chance to move on from disadvantage. When you help a woman find work and she is able to provide for herself and her family, there is a ripple effect. This one change in her life has an impact on the way she parents her children, the way she engages with her community, the value and diversity she brings to her workplace and, ultimately, a profound collective impact on Australia as a whole.
Rewarding role
At Fitted for Work, we like to think we can give women the sense of possibility, hope and of power in shaping their lives, writing a new story for themselves. We believe disadvantage can be overcome.
We believe women are the catalyst for creating a more socially cohesive and prosperous society. We aim to enable women to gain that confidence, to let them know in no uncertain terms they are enough. But first, as I tell my team, we must believe and trust that as individuals we are enough.
I would wonder why my life took the roads it did. I realise now that these roads have led me to this place, to be in this leadership position. Every day I have the opportunity to use my heart and my head, and to encourage my staff to do the same. I couldn’t ask for a more fulfilling and rewarding role.
Now I help others become the heroines of their stories. For me, that is leading a purposeful life, and it is something I encourage in my staff, our clients and my children.
Donna de Zwart is CEO at Fitted for Work.
This article originally appeared in the March edition of third sector print magazine- subscribe here.